{"id":8794,"date":"2018-12-30T14:51:51","date_gmt":"2018-12-30T11:51:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/?p=8794"},"modified":"2018-12-30T14:51:51","modified_gmt":"2018-12-30T11:51:51","slug":"kendimi-ozledim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/?p=8794","title":{"rendered":"KEND\u0130M\u0130 \u00d6ZLED\u0130M&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/\u00e7aresizlik-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/\u00e7aresizlik-1-300x175.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"175\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-7397\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/\u00e7aresizlik-1-300x175.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/\u00e7aresizlik-1.jpg 401w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Kendimi \u00f6zledim, kendim olabilmeyi.<br \/>\nNereye sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131m hakk\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir fikrim yok!<br \/>\nBulunamaz kay\u0131plar i\u00e7indeyim.<br \/>\nL\u00fcleli sa\u00e7lar\u0131yla bir k\u0131z da\u011f\u0131n ete\u011finde,<br \/>\nYemye\u015fil olan u\u00e7urtmas\u0131n\u0131 r\u00fczg\u00e2ra salmay\u0131<br \/>\nVe sonra,<br \/>\nR\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n \u0131sl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda eteklerinin u\u00e7urtmaya \u00f6zenmesini d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyor,<br \/>\n\u00d6zl\u00fcyor.<br \/>\nK\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7izmesiyle karlara yenilmemeyi,<br \/>\n\u00c7ocukluk kahkahalar\u0131n\u0131,<br \/>\nA\u011fabeylerinin y\u00fcre\u011fine korkular salmay\u0131<br \/>\n&#8220;Dilim tutuldu konu\u015fam\u0131yorum&#8221; demeyi mesela<br \/>\nSonra gelsin \u00e7ikolatalar, \u015fekerler, \u00e7ikletler&#8230;<br \/>\nDolaplar\u0131n i\u00e7ine saklanan haylaz k\u0131zken,<br \/>\nValizin i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131kmalar sihirbaz edas\u0131yla,<br \/>\nD\u00f6nebilmek isterdim yeniden \u00e7ocuklu\u011fuma.<br \/>\nNe \u00e7ok \u00f6zlemi\u015fim kendim olabilmeyi.<br \/>\nBebe yakal\u0131 elbiselerimi, f\u0131rf\u0131rl\u0131 eteklerimi<br \/>\nAnnem ne g\u00fczel de tarard\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131,<br \/>\nHep bir kurdele olurdu ba\u015f\u0131mda renk renk<br \/>\n\u00c7ocuk kalmay\u0131 sevmem de bu y\u00fczden olmal\u0131.<br \/>\nAnnelerden iyi kim bilir do\u011furduklar\u0131n\u0131.<br \/>\nSevdiklerimi uza\u011fa f\u0131rlatmad\u0131m hi\u00e7<br \/>\nVefas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n koynuna girip yatmad\u0131m.<br \/>\nAld\u0131rmad\u0131m avu\u00e7lar\u0131ma dolan ya\u015flara<br \/>\nAldan\u0131\u015flara.<br \/>\n Kendimi \u00f6zledim, kendim olabilmeyi.<br \/>\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 al\u0131p gitmeyi istedim \u00e7o\u011fu zaman<br \/>\nU\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z maviliklerde yelkenli gibi<br \/>\nSavrulmak ve dayanmak f\u0131rt\u0131nalara<br \/>\nVe yeniden d\u00f6nmek en g\u00fcvenilir limana.<br \/>\nKendimi \u00f6zledim \u00f6zlemesine de<br \/>\nBendekilerin \u00f6zlemi daha bir tak etti can\u0131ma.<br \/>\nR\u00fcyamda ko\u015ftu\u011fum bir balkon vard\u0131,<br \/>\nSoluk solu\u011fa<br \/>\nUykudan uyan\u0131p geli\u015fini bekledi\u011fim bir adam.<br \/>\nGabaros dedemiz vard\u0131, a\u011fabeylerim de an\u0131ms\u0131yor olmal\u0131<br \/>\nCepleri k\u00fcp \u015fekerlerle doluydu,<br \/>\n\u015eekerler, tad\u0131n\u0131 ceplerindeki tozdan al\u0131yordu.<br \/>\nElmal\u0131, horozlu<br \/>\n\u00c7e\u015fit \u00e7e\u015fit \u015fekerler.<br \/>\n\u015eifan\u0131n gazozlar\u0131.<br \/>\nAz kals\u0131n unutuyordum kaymak\u00e7\u0131 amcay\u0131<br \/>\n\u015eimdi O&#8217;da terk etmi\u015f bizim oralar\u0131<br \/>\nNerde kald\u0131 eskilerin tad\u0131?<br \/>\nEl ele tutu\u015fup okula gitmelerimizi \u00f6zledim,<br \/>\nDaha bir yak\u0131nd\u0131k sanki o vakitler.<br \/>\n\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcze aitti  d\u00fcnyam\u0131z,<br \/>\nBir de oyunlar\u0131m\u0131z<br \/>\nBen kaleci olurdum, a\u011fabeyimler Metin, Tanju<br \/>\nSandalye bacaklar\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131 iplerimiz<br \/>\nEv i\u00e7i oyunumuzdu.<br \/>\nNas\u0131l \u00f6zledim \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumu.<\/p>\n<p>Tu\u011fba TURAN<\/p>\n<p><!-- Admatic inpage x Ad Code START --><br \/>\n<ins data-publisher=\"adm-pub-112522161581\" data-ad-type=\"inpage\" class=\"adm-ads-area\" data-ad-network=\"189782541830\" data-ad-sid=\"600\"><\/ins><br \/>\n<script src=\"\/\/cdn2.admatic.com.tr\/showad\/showad.js\" async><\/script><br \/>\n<!-- Admatic inpage x Ad Code END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kendimi \u00f6zledim, kendim olabilmeyi. Nereye sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131m hakk\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir fikrim yok! Bulunamaz kay\u0131plar i\u00e7indeyim. L\u00fcleli sa\u00e7lar\u0131yla bir k\u0131z da\u011f\u0131n ete\u011finde, Yemye\u015fil olan u\u00e7urtmas\u0131n\u0131 r\u00fczg\u00e2ra salmay\u0131 Ve sonra, R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n \u0131sl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda eteklerinin u\u00e7urtmaya \u00f6zenmesini d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyor, \u00d6zl\u00fcyor. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7izmesiyle karlara yenilmemeyi, \u00c7ocukluk kahkahalar\u0131n\u0131, A\u011fabeylerinin &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/?p=8794\">Okumaya devam et <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,2979],"tags":[2988,2980],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8794"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8794"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8795,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8794\/revisions\/8795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}