Ho\u015f\u00e7a kal \u00c7ocuk Ruhum da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, toplamad\u0131m. \u00c7ar\u015faf\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtt\u00fcm ge\u00e7mi\u015fin, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar i\u00e7imdeki volkanlar\u0131n patlamadan \u00f6nceki sinyallerini \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor. Par\u0131l par\u0131l parlamaktalar. Gece, g\u00fcne inat t\u0131ls\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 ekliyor ay’\u0131n…
\nG\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcn yata\u011f\u0131 da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k… Uyuyanlar var, sessiz olun uyand\u0131rmay\u0131n. \u00d6yle bir r\u00fcya g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, yaln\u0131zl\u0131k benden i\u00e7eri serden d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Takvimlerin insanlar\u0131 a\u011flat\u0131\u015flar\u0131 kelebekleri uyand\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imin mevsimi k\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ilkbahardan nem kapt\u0131m. Arabalar h\u0131zl\u0131ca ge\u00e7iyorlar, kimi insanlar da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k ruhlar\u0131n\u0131n pe\u015finde kimileri ise hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n pe\u015finde… \u0130nsan neyi isterse onun pe\u015finden ko\u015farm\u0131\u015f. Kendimi buldu\u011fumda tamamland\u0131m. Bam telimin ayar\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131, keman \u00e7al\u0131yor y\u00fcre\u011fim…
\nGidenler duyarlar da gelirler, hep birlikte \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yleriz belki. Emeklemeyi \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fti y\u00fcre\u011fim, sonra umutlar\u0131n \u00e7at\u0131s\u0131ndan bakt\u0131m d\u00fcnyaya d\u00fc\u015fecek gibiydim bir an rezil oldum sand\u0131m. Y\u00fcre\u011fim d\u00fc\u015fecek gibiydi g\u00f6zlerden, son anda yakalad\u0131m. <\/p>\n
Kimse anlamazd\u0131 h\u00e2lim peri\u015fan, duygular\u0131m yatak d\u00f6\u015fek yatmakta… Nevresimini 90 derecede y\u0131kad\u0131m g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m\u0131n, \u00e7ok kirlenmi\u015fti sonunda ayd\u0131m. Bak\u0131n, i\u00e7imdeki \u00e7ocuk beni terk etti \u00e7\u0131plak ayakla caddeyi alt \u00fcst ediyor.
\n-Dur gitme, yalvar\u0131r\u0131m gitme. Sana en sevdi\u011fin oyunca\u011f\u0131 al\u0131r\u0131m. G\u00f6zlerimin nemini siler, seninle hayata dair en g\u00fczel oyunlar\u0131 oynar\u0131m. Yalvar\u0131r\u0131m, dur gitme… Daha yapacak \u00e7ok \u015feyimiz, gezecek \u00e7ok yolumuz var.
\nDuymad\u0131 bile, y\u00fcre\u011fi nas\u0131r tutmu\u015ftu hayat g\u00f6ze gelince. Avizesi d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc, ayd\u0131nlanm\u0131yor dostluklar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131kmaz\u0131… \u00c7\u0131kmaz soka\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fcn, sa\u011fda bir yerlerde bulursunuz aln\u0131n\u0131zdan \u00f6pecek bir sevdal\u0131y\u0131; yaras\u0131z\u0131. Merhemini gizli tutar, yaras\u0131zd\u0131r zarars\u0131zd\u0131r \u0131\u015f\u0131klan\u0131r, \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutar… Bilirim o yolda bir \u015fekilde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131r\u0131z.
\nG\u00f6zlerim incilerini d\u00f6k\u00fcyor ya\u011fmur dolu koleksiyonuma. Pazartesi Sal\u0131dan umudunu keserse, Cuma al\u0131r m\u0131 Cumartesinin umutlar\u0131n\u0131? Bir yerden biten bir yerden ba\u015flamaz m\u0131? Umut kap\u0131s\u0131 de\u011fil mi sevgi tezg\u00e2h\u0131n\u0131z? Can pazar\u0131ndan hali\u00e7 k\u00f6pr\u00fcs\u00fcne uzan\u0131r baht\u0131ndan umudumun ge\u00e7ti\u011fi g\u00f6n\u00fcl derg\u00e2h\u0131m… <\/p>\n
Kar’\u0131 tutabilir misin g\u00f6zlerinle? Beyaz gecelerde a\u011flayabilir misin ki bembeyaz d\u00fc\u015flerinin yerine?
\nD\u00fc\u015flerine k\u0131yma, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fun gitti bak. D\u00fc\u015flerine yaz\u0131k etme, kap\u0131lma g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn sel dolu sonbahar\u0131na…
\nGidenler d\u00f6nmezler bo\u015funa nefesini t\u00fcketme, ba\u011f\u0131rma. Gidenler duyamazlar…
\nA\u011flamak, \u015ferefli bir Ekim sonunun Kas\u0131m ay\u0131na ihaneti say\u0131lmakta…
\nA\u011flamak; g\u00fclerken olu\u015fturdu\u011fun gamzelerinden seni \u00e7almakta… B\u0131rak, ya\u011fmur a\u011flas\u0131n b\u0131rak \u0130stanbul a\u011flas\u0131n, b\u0131rak ruhundan kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nalar a\u011flas\u0131n. Sen sak\u0131n a\u011flama…
\nG\u00fcne\u015fini \u00e7alar g\u00f6zlerim, affet bana bel ba\u011flama. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn \u00e7ocuk, hangi arada ne zaman oldu bilmem ama b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn i\u015fte…
\nBisikletle ge\u00e7ti\u011fin o yollardan umutlar\u0131n s\u0131\u011fmaz oldular. Hayallerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcrken g\u00f6zp\u0131narlar\u0131ndan nasibini ald\u0131n. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn \u00e7ocuk! Okul yoluna s\u0131\u011fmaz oldu bedenin, ayaklar\u0131n g\u00f6t\u00fcrmez oldu seni \u00e7ocukluk dolu g\u00fcnlerine… A\u011flad\u0131n, i\u00e7tin, \u00f6zledin, k\u00fcfrettin kime ne!
\nB\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn, kalbine han\u00e7er saplan\u0131p g\u00f6zlerin \u00e7ocuksu hayallerine sa\u011fanak ya\u011farken… Ruhun da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, kilere saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131n mavi bir kurdelen vard\u0131. \u015eimdi git onu bul ve sal denizin sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 mavi haziran gecelerine… Haziranlar bir ba\u015fka gelirdi sana, umut kokard\u0131.
\nHaziranlar \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131 demekti, Nisanlar hep ama hep ye\u015fil… \u00c7imenlerde oturur, kendine kendini anlatmaktan korkard\u0131n. Denizin matemsiz g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerinden kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131n umut bah\u00e7elerini hayallerinin sepetine atard\u0131n. D\u00f6ner dururdun denizin i\u00e7inde, A\u011fustoslar hayat kokard\u0131. Mevsimler seninle anlam kazan\u0131r, d\u00f6rt mevsimin be\u015fincisinden kendine a\u015fk mevsimini yarat\u0131rd\u0131n. \u015eimdi b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn \u00e7ocuk! Bu ya\u015flar niye? Yapraklar sarar\u0131r, ruhun da\u011f\u0131l\u0131r \u00fcz\u00fclme! \u015eimdi sendeki g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fleri g\u00f6rme hakk\u0131 faytondan el sallayan \u00e7ocuklu\u011funun son sevi\u015flerinde… B\u0131rak gitmeden \u00f6nce sevsin son kez. Bo\u015funa yalvarma.
\nHangi giden durdu ki \u015fimdiye kadar? Hangisi dinledi s\u00f6zlerini, hangisi g\u00f6rd\u00fc g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u011fan ya\u011fmurlar\u0131? Umutlar\u0131ndan kald\u0131rd\u0131lar \u015femsiyeni, s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam oldun \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcn. Hangi biri ac\u0131d\u0131 ki? Bo\u015funa yalvarma geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcremezsin hi\u00e7bir gideni…
\nTelevizyondan hayat yolunun ge\u00e7ti\u011fi insanlar ge\u00e7iyorlar. Be\u015finci Kanal ad\u0131 umut… Canl\u0131 yay\u0131ndalar, baksana hayat yolunun bayra\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da devralm\u0131\u015f sana sonsuz te\u015fekk\u00fcrlerini iletiyorlar. Onlar bittiler art\u0131k, b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn \u00e7ocuk! Sonbahar yapraklar\u0131na k\u0131yma…
\nY\u00fcre\u011fimin keman\u0131 hi\u00e7 susmuyor… Kopmu\u015f bir teli, can\u0131mdan \u00f6te yollarda hayat yine bana \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor.
\nPiyangosu sevmekmi\u015f kaderimin, pi\u015fman m\u0131y\u0131m? Hay\u0131r, de\u011filim…
\nSadece durduramad\u0131m ge\u00e7mi\u015fin zincirleme kazas\u0131n\u0131, engel olamad\u0131m.
\nRuhum ka\u00e7\u0131k, ka\u00e7ak sevi\u015flerin pe\u015finden ko\u015ftu. Olduramad\u0131m bug\u00fcn\u00fcn yazg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, yar\u0131na kar\u0131\u015fmayal\u0131m…
\nEfsanevi Anka Ku\u015fu’na uzanan hik\u00e2yenin \u00f6ns\u00f6z\u00fc misali; “Yar\u0131n, k\u00fcllerimden yeniden do\u011faca\u011f\u0131m…” \u015eimdi s\u00f6yleyin ad\u0131m neydi benim? Unuttum…
\nD\u00fcn gelmezdi, bug\u00fcn ka\u00e7akt\u0131 giderdi. Yar\u0131n ise belirsiz bir hediyeydi. S\u00f6yleyin bana, benim ad\u0131m neydi? Hangi sonbahardan kalma g\u00fcnde ertelemi\u015ftim ki kendime dokunup, kendimi sevmeyi?
\n\u00c7ok ciddiye alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m sevmeyi, sevmemeyi… Ho\u015f\u00e7a kal \u00e7ocuk! Midye kabuklar\u0131na selam s\u00f6yle!
\nHo\u015f\u00e7a kal \u00e7ocuk! Y\u0131ld\u0131zlara selam s\u00f6yle… <\/p>\n
Dilara Aksoy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ho\u015f\u00e7a kal \u00c7ocuk Ruhum da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, toplamad\u0131m. \u00c7ar\u015faf\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtt\u00fcm ge\u00e7mi\u015fin, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar i\u00e7imdeki volkanlar\u0131n patlamadan \u00f6nceki sinyallerini \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor. Par\u0131l par\u0131l parlamaktalar. Gece, g\u00fcne inat t\u0131ls\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 ekliyor ay’\u0131n… G\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcn yata\u011f\u0131 da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k… Uyuyanlar var, sessiz olun uyand\u0131rmay\u0131n. \u00d6yle bir r\u00fcya g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, yaln\u0131zl\u0131k benden … Okumaya devam et