{"id":7644,"date":"2018-01-12T17:15:56","date_gmt":"2018-01-12T14:15:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/?p=7644"},"modified":"2018-01-12T17:15:56","modified_gmt":"2018-01-12T14:15:56","slug":"7644","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/?p=7644","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vazo.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vazo-300x257.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"257\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-5983\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vazo-300x257.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vazo.jpg 376w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ben bazen sadece istedi\u011fim cevaplar\u0131 duyabilmek ad\u0131na, sorular sorar\u0131m insanlara. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o kadar \u00e7ok ihtiyac\u0131m var ki buna. Ama arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131m cevaplar\u0131 duymak bir yana \u00f6nem bile vermezler merak\u0131ma. Anlad\u0131m ki bu d\u00fcnya akl\u0131mdakine uymuyor. Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey hayal etti\u011fim gibi olmuyor. Oysa ki \u00f6yle \u00e7ok \u015fey kurguluyorum ki kafamda. \u00d6yle hayaller kuruyorum ki. Bunlar\u0131n imkans\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 derin bir kuyuya \u00e7ekiyor her seferinde beni. \u00c7eli\u015fiyorum kendimle, sava\u015f\u0131yorum; olmuyor. \u00c7ok \u015fey istemiyorum asl\u0131nda. Ruhuma dokunan \u015feylerden ba\u015fka. Sonra bana defalarca s\u00f6ylenen bir s\u00f6z geliyor akl\u0131ma: &#8220;Senin etraf\u0131nda d\u00f6nm\u00fcyor D\u00fcnya.&#8221; D\u00f6ns\u00fcn istiyorum ya, seksen milyon insan aras\u0131nda bir kere de benim i\u00e7in d\u00f6ns\u00fcn \u015fu D\u00fcnya. Komik ama; s\u0131rf bu sebepten dolay\u0131 k\u0131skan\u0131yorum G\u00fcne\u015fi arada s\u0131rada. Bir kez daha fark\u0131na var\u0131yorum; yerim yok kimsenin yan\u0131nda. Bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck d\u00fcnyamda mutluyum asl\u0131nda. Benim d\u00fcnyam. Sadece bana ait. O zaman bir sorun olmaz sizin i\u00e7in de\u011fil mi? Peki bu sefer kim s\u00f6yleyecek; bana ait bir \u015fey olabilece\u011fine ger\u00e7ekten nas\u0131l inanabildi\u011fimi? Buna delicesine inanmak istedi\u011fimi anlayam\u0131yorsunuz de\u011fil mi? Nas\u0131l anlayas\u0131n\u0131z ki? Hanginiz bir yer edinemedi bu koca d\u00fcnyada benim gibi, hanginiz bu kadar ele\u015ftirildi, hanginiz her \u015feyden vazge\u00e7ebildi! Ne kadar \u00e7ok kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f\u0131z g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131n tela\u015f\u0131na. Yitiyor her \u015fey, bitiyor fark\u0131nda de\u011filiz. \u00c7ok g\u00fczel ya\u015fay\u0131p gitti\u011fimizi zannediyoruz. Ya\u015famak bu olmamal\u0131. Hay\u0131r bu kadar basit olmamal\u0131. Bu kadar basit de\u011fil.  \u00c2h, neyse ki mucizelere inan\u0131yorum kendi ad\u0131ma. O b\u00fcy\u00fck mucizemi bekliyorum. O b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00fcn\u00fc bekliyorum. Ya\u015fam\u0131m boyunca bekledim. Hayat\u0131m\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fece\u011fi o g\u00fcne muhtac\u0131m. Neyse ki hala umudum var. Neyse ki umudum bulutlar.. \u2601<\/p>\n<p>Zeynep ERTO\u011eRUL<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ben bazen sadece istedi\u011fim cevaplar\u0131 duyabilmek ad\u0131na, sorular sorar\u0131m insanlara. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o kadar \u00e7ok ihtiyac\u0131m var ki buna. Ama arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131m cevaplar\u0131 duymak bir yana \u00f6nem bile vermezler merak\u0131ma. Anlad\u0131m ki bu d\u00fcnya akl\u0131mdakine uymuyor. Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey hayal etti\u011fim gibi olmuyor. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/?p=7644\">Okumaya devam et <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[2646],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7644"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7644"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7645,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7644\/revisions\/7645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.siirmolasi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}